So while going stir crazy with The Beast From The East and Storm Emma having our road snowed over, I decided to have an at home pamper day. I had recently purchased some Lush bath bombs, I never take baths, I am a shower person […]
Hey guys, people always say it costs too much to eat healthy so I’ve decided to start an Under €5 series. Healthy dinners that cost under €5 per person to make. So kickstarting this with Stuffed Peppers with all the ingredients from Aldi! Ingredients: (4 […]
This week I had a friend come visit me in Ireland, so I was on a mini staycation in Kerry while she was over. I actually hadn’t seen my friend Tammy since May 2016, the last time I was over in London. We stayed out […]
When I was 26, I was diagnosed with depression. I got help from my doctor, took the anti-depressants, did counselling sessions, and now as I’m about to turn 29 I no longer suffer with depression.
This wasn’t a journey of that I did everything that I was meant to do and I was fine the whole time, I had periods where I would be all over the place and fall into a deep depression and take myself weeks to get back on track.
Now in 13 days, I turn 29 and have been thinking about life after mental illness. I feel robbed by depression, I lost the last few years of my twenties. I should have been out enjoying my life with my friends, instead I couldn’t face leaving the bed, let alone my house. Not to focus on the negative, I did however discover a love for reading. I would easily go through 3 books a week. It was my escape. Jump into a different world.
I feel scared, when I have a bad day, my brain spirals into “is it back?”. Everyone has bad days but guess I’m not used to bad days that don’t spiral into the worst place possible. So every time I have a bad day, all I can think is the depression is back. Which I know people might think is just an irrational thought but I can’t shake that thought, maybe as time passes the fear of relapse will pass too.
I have the memories of being unable to get out of bed, unable to shower because my body was just a carcass that my mind was trapped inside, I remember all the suicidal thoughts, the attempted overdose, and the breakdowns. I can’t erase that from my brain no matter how much I’d like to forget the last few years.
I spent a few weeks wondering “who am I without depression?”. I spent over a year talking about mental health online that it never occurred to me that one day I’d be rid of depression. I guess when you’re suffering, it’s hard to think of a place where you are free.
So what’s next?
Well this week I am going on a mini break with a friend who is visiting Ireland. It’s a staycation for me, but I haven’t been on any sort of break in over 2 years so I can’t wait and I get to see a friend who I haven’t seen since I was 26!
I have some other things planned too but once they’re official I’ll talk more about them ♥
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Hey guys, Another week, another weigh in. This week was hard, I have not been sleeping well at all. Having those horrible nights when your body is completely exhausted but your brain just won’t switch off. Which has completely affected my productivity and […]
Hey guys, so if you saw last week I posted that I joined Slimming World and that I would be doing a weekly blog about it.
It actually has been fine, I thought I’d be starving but surprisingly I am not.
I’ve had sausages, bacon and eggs most mornings, light lunch and have had big dinners. This week I’ve made Sweet Potato Beef Fajitas, Spaghetti Bolognese with a butt loads of pasta, Mexican Chicken, BBQ Chicken, Vegan Burgers, etc.
So I was kinda skeptical when I went to weigh in, I was sure I would have lost nothing or maybe gained weight… Nope
I lost 1.5lbs on my first week.
I will admit that I kinda threw the plan out the window at the weekend and drank way too much beer on Saturday watching the football and then Sunday I was too hungover to cook and got a Snack Box from the takeaway and then ate pasta and cheese before bed.
The weekend was just a write-off.
I’m sure we’ve all had one of those weekends!
On Monday, I got straight back into the plan. I will say one thing is that meal planning is very important. Today I am planning out my dinners for the next 5 days. Though I’m gonna pick up a few Slimming World meals from Iceland and pop them in the freezer because I can guarantee life will interfere and one of those dinners I’m planning won’t happen.
Next weigh in is on Thursday so I hope to see the number on the scale continue to go down.
I did it, I went to my first Slimming World group last night. I was a little bit nervous just as a do have social anxiety but I wasn’t going on my own so that made it a little easier, though when I got there […]
Spicy Beef Udon Stir Fry
It is possible. I did it. I knew I didn’t feel right in myself during April and May in 2016. I was a mess. Mood swings, feeling helpless, wanting to hide away and breaking down. I used to cry into my dogs fur late at […]