Finding Happiness Again


Leo and Hunter

So if you follow my blog, you know that last week I increased my dosage from 30mg of Citalopram to 40mg. I hit a low, I was depressed again. No matter what I tried I couldn’t pull myself out of it, so I went back to the doctor and asked for an increase in tablets. Now, 11 days later I feel like my old self again. I feel like The Bunny (a nickname my mom gave me when I was little), I just feel normal.

So I’ve decided to leave the bad spell in the past and move forward. On Saturday (19th of August), it was my birthday and I kinda had a bit of the birthday blues but I got myself outta bed, put on my muddy boots and went out to spend some time with the dogs in the rescue. If you’re familiar with my Instagram you will see I am obsessed with the dogs out there, always taking photos and videos. That day I walked Leo, a staffie cross, I had only ever seen Leo from inside his pen. He has this cute little happy face and I decided to take him out. I don’t know his story, how or why he ended up there, I’ve just been saying hi to him for the past year and petting him through the gate. As we were walking down the farm road his tail was wagging like crazy and I decided to stop walking, sit down on the floor and see what he would do. He jumped up into my lap and started licking my face like crazy. All I could think was this dog for all I know could have been through the worst and he’s happy as fuck, warm and loving towards a complete stranger. After I put Leo back in the pen after our walk, I took out Hunter, who I always take out and I was basically beaten up with affection. He gets giddy, throws himself on your lap and just smashes into your face while trying to give you kisses! Hunter was used as a bait dog, people mistreated him and he can still find happiness and love towards people. For me, though it might sound silly, it makes me feel that no matter what I go through I can pull myself out and be happy again.

I even decided to do something I’d have never done before, I signed up for a 6 week yoga course, by myself.  I would normally be too awkward and shy to do something like that by myself but I’m putting the fear aside and doing the things I’ve always wanted to do. I hold myself back all the time and need to keep pushing forward, not be afraid to do the things that I know will make me happy.

I have found my happiness again, I found it within those puppies and thanks to the love of my friends Tommy, Kayla and Tammy who even though are in America, England and Australia living their own hectic lives, always have time for me. That makes me so grateful.

So I’m leaving all the bad that happened when I was 27 and moving onto all the positive that 28 will bring.


♥ Blue ♥



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