So I know I haven’t really spoken much about my own mental health this year. If you have been following me since I started this blog, you will have seen the ups and downs I’ve gone through. Last year was tough, I lost friends, suffered my knee injury, dating was disastrous, the whole year was just a fucked up mess.
I took a hard look at myself and thought, those “friends” I had said that I was faking depression, that if you’re depressed that you don’t talk about it, they posted all over social media about my mental health and mocked me. I kept the screenshots of all that stuff. People like that feed off you, they love seeing you at your lowest because it makes them feel better. Those people are toxic, and I have met more toxic people since and I do not have time for that. No one’s negative mindset is going to impact my life, I am done with that shit.
I have taken a whole attitude adjustment to everything in my life. Even my knee injury, that made me depressed last year because I was in lots of pain, could not exercise and I gained weight. I’m still in pain now, my knee is still a big issue but now I don’t feel sorry for myself, I strap on a knee brace and I hop on the treadmill twice a day, 5 times a week because sitting around complaining about my knee isn’t gonna do shit. I have my MRI this week and then a possible surgery.
Please don’t think this post is saying “Change your attitude to rid yourself of depression”, it’s not. I am just speaking for myself that there is factors I can control and can’t control and there is no point focusing on the shit I can’t control and then letting that bring me down. I have just adopted the “fuck it” attitude to shit and that works for me. I have been on a lower dose of antidepressants for a month and I’m feeling fine. In a few months, when I feel ready and my doctor agrees I’ll be moving to a lower dosage.
At this particular moment in time, I feel more in control of myself than I have in the last two years. I have the tools to cope with and understand my depression.
Also bonus points is you get the reference of the title ♥